This is a meditation technique which can help with stress, worrying, weight management and sleeping problems. It has strong scientific evidence and because of its simplicity, it works great as self-help.
In Talk it Out, mindfulness is recommended for combating stress, with a detailed how-to instruction (accessible through a QR code in the game). On the blog Insights, there is also an article about mindfulness in the context of avoiding arguments.
- An activity in the game proposes both spouses to read the same book simultaneously and discuss its content. In the case of a romantic novel, the partners are also provided with a detailed set of guiding questions for discussing relational issues of the main characters. Reading and discussing together adds to the couple's pool of shared interests, giving them the opportunity to get to know each other better, and reflect on their own relationship.
Research shows that watching movies together about relationships once a week for a month and discussing the content afterward, decreases the divorce rate by half and has the same effect as a professional couples therapy.
Talk it Out contains an activity with elaborate guidelines for maximizing the effect of cinema therapy.
While many other relationship tools use cards with questions to partners, Talk it Out relies on a collection of written, ready-to-use statements. This unique feature allows couples to have precise and effective discussions.
Talk it Out makes use of the fact that written messages are often taken more seriously, inducing greater consideration, and are less likely to trigger a defensive reaction in the recipient.
- Trying to write down a report about a recent argument from an observer's viewpoint may make it easier to distance oneself from the disagreement and see it in a more neutral light. This little tip, which is placed on the Time Out card, may be a big help in resolving held grudges.
This is a meditation technique which can help with stress, worrying, weight management and sleeping problems. It has strong scientific evidence and because of its simplicity, it works great as self-help.
In Talk it Out, mindfulness is recommended for combating stress, with a detailed how-to instruction (accessible through a QR code in the game). On the blog Insights, there is also an article about mindfulness in the context of avoiding arguments.
- An activity in the game proposes both spouses to read the same book simultaneously and discuss its content. In the case of a romantic novel, the partners are also provided with a detailed set of guiding questions for discussing relational issues of the main characters. Reading and discussing together adds to the couple's pool of shared interests, giving them the opportunity to get to know each other better, and reflect on their own relationship.
Research shows that watching movies together about relationships once a week for a month and discussing the content afterward, decreases the divorce rate by half and has the same effect as a professional couples therapy.
Talk it Out contains an activity with elaborate guidelines for maximizing the effect of cinema therapy.
While many other relationship tools use cards with questions to partners, Talk it Out relies on a collection of written, ready-to-use statements. This unique feature allows couples to have precise and effective discussions.
Talk it Out makes use of the fact that written messages are often taken more seriously, inducing greater consideration, and are less likely to trigger a defensive reaction in the recipient.
- Trying to write down a report about a recent argument from an observer's viewpoint may make it easier to distance oneself from the disagreement and see it in a more neutral light. This little tip, which is placed on the Time Out card, may be a big help in resolving held grudges.
Texts in this game are written in a way which is the most efficient to reach the other spouse and will not trigger a defensive reaction.
The game texts can also play an educative role by showing to spouses how to formulate their own messages.
- The Speech Token delays reaction to your partner's words, giving you a chance to reflect on what your partner just said. This helps to give a more precise and considerate response to the issue. By using the Speech Token, quite often we'll find out that the partner's opinion is valid, or at least we'll see much clearer how the partner perceives the issue. This makes it easier to find a compromise or an alternative way to meet the needs of the partner.
The Explain listener's card encourages curiosity and understanding for your parnter's emotions and needs.
Often, written messages in the game will facilitate sharing feelings, wants, needs and deep emotions.
The game includes training how to exchange positive feedback, both directly and on meta-conversational level.
The game starts with expressing positive emotions and opinions about each other, using a set of various templates. After the discussion, players find in a similar set of templates for expressing positive aspects of the discussion which they just had. This way they are channelled to give positive responses about each other as well as about their conversation.
- Following some of the basic principles of emotion-focused therapy, Talk it Out facilitates:
- learning ways to discuss difficult topics effectively,
- spending time together in an engaging way,
- doing nice things to each other.
Texts in this game are written in a way which is the most efficient to reach the other spouse and will not trigger a defensive reaction.
The game texts can also play an educative role by showing to spouses how to formulate their own messages.
- The Speech Token delays reaction to your partner's words, giving you a chance to reflect on what your partner just said. This helps to give a more precise and considerate response to the issue. By using the Speech Token, quite often we'll find out that the partner's opinion is valid, or at least we'll see much clearer how the partner perceives the issue. This makes it easier to find a compromise or an alternative way to meet the needs of the partner.
The Explain listener's card encourages curiosity and understanding for your parnter's emotions and needs.
Often, written messages in the game will facilitate sharing feelings, wants, needs and deep emotions.
The game includes training how to exchange positive feedback, both directly and on meta-conversational level.
The game starts with expressing positive emotions and opinions about each other, using a set of various templates. After the discussion, players find in a similar set of templates for expressing positive aspects of the discussion which they just had. This way they are channelled to give positive responses about each other as well as about their conversation.
- Following some of the basic principles of emotion-focused therapy, Talk it Out facilitates:
- learning ways to discuss difficult topics effectively,
- spending time together in an engaging way,
- doing nice things to each other.
Strengthening a relationship shouldn't be only about problem solving. Even more important is to increase the bond between spouses, which helps them to accept each other's differences.
The game emphasises building bonds by inducing partners to give each other positive feedback and do something nice together or for each other.
When our loved one has a distressing experience, the first thing they need is empathy and to be consoled. At such moments just listening, showing understanding and being on their side is the best thing that you can do. If it's worth giving advice — wait until their emotions are better regulated.
Talk it Out recommends this approach as one of many tips scattered throughout the game.
Doing novel and exciting activities together is a powerful way for couples to strengthen their bond.
A whole section in the game is devoted to this scientifically proven method of improving marital satisfaction.
- The main aim of Talk it Out is to promote the habit of regular marital conversations, a practice recommended by renowned couples's therapists. This idea is embedded in various forms throughout the content of the game.
- Reducing emotional avoidance. Thanks to its carefully formulated texts, Talk it Out helps couples to express their deeper thoughts and feelings.
- Increasing closeness through an opening-up section sharing inner thoughts
- Promoting mutual courtesy with two sets of Because I love you… coupons, for him and for her.
Strengthening a relationship shouldn't be only about problem solving. Even more important is to increase the bond between spouses, which helps them to accept each other's differences.
The game emphasises building bonds by inducing partners to give each other positive feedback and do something nice together or for each other.
When our loved one has a distressing experience, the first thing they need is empathy and to be consoled. At such moments just listening, showing understanding and being on their side is the best thing that you can do. If it's worth giving advice — wait until their emotions are better regulated.
Talk it Out recommends this approach as one of many tips scattered throughout the game.
Doing novel and exciting activities together is a powerful way for couples to strengthen their bond.
A whole section in the game is devoted to this scientifically proven method of improving marital satisfaction.
- The main aim of Talk it Out is to promote the habit of regular marital conversations, a practice recommended by renowned couples's therapists. This idea is embedded in various forms throughout the content of the game.
- Reducing emotional avoidance. Thanks to its carefully formulated texts, Talk it Out helps couples to express their deeper thoughts and feelings.
- Increasing closeness through an opening-up section sharing inner thoughts
- Promoting mutual courtesy with two sets of Because I love you… coupons, for him and for her.
- The overall structure of the game is based on the proven “sandwiching” principle, i.e. a challenging message is put between two positive ones. This way the positives always outnumber the negatives.
- A special card named Speech Token guards the right of the speaker for uninterrupted speaking. After completing his/her statement, the speaker passes this card to the listener and the roles are reversed.
- All texts in the game are formulated to promote speaking about your own emotions and needs rather than focusing on your partner's failures. This is intended to stop the “blame game”. The template for “I-statements” can be found on the Speech Token.
- Many statements in the game finish with an open-ended question, i.e. a question that cannot be answered with a simple “yes” or “no”, but requires a more elaborated response. This facilitates brainstorming and a higher level of engagement about the topic.
The Oops… card and the corresponding Fair Talk Beacons board allow a listener to signal to the speaker when s/he breaks one of the six communication rules (e.g. “don't read my mind”, or “don't generalize”). The Explain card promotes active listening.
Together with the Speech Token and Time Out, all of these cards form the toolset enabling partners to self-moderate their discussion.
- The overall structure of the game is based on the proven “sandwiching” principle, i.e. a challenging message is put between two positive ones. This way the positives always outnumber the negatives.
- A special card named Speech Token guards the right of the speaker for uninterrupted speaking. After completing his/her statement, the speaker passes this card to the listener and the roles are reversed.
- All texts in the game are formulated to promote speaking about your own emotions and needs rather than focusing on your partner's failures. This is intended to stop the “blame game”. The template for “I-statements” can be found on the Speech Token.
- Many statements in the game finish with an open-ended question, i.e. a question that cannot be answered with a simple “yes” or “no”, but requires a more elaborated response. This facilitates brainstorming and a higher level of engagement about the topic.
The Oops… card and the corresponding Fair Talk Beacons board allow a listener to signal to the speaker when s/he breaks one of the six communication rules (e.g. “don't read my mind”, or “don't generalize”). The Explain card promotes active listening.
Together with the Speech Token and Time Out, all of these cards form the toolset enabling partners to self-moderate their discussion.
as easy to play
as
a children's game
Despite the rich content, Talk it Out is incredibly easy and intuitive to use, thanks to a clear system of compartments, self-explanatory game elements, inherent colors of elements for him and her, and the possibility to cherry-pick some of the four simple steps to play.
You don't really need to learn all aspects of this game. The ultimate goal of playing Talk it Out is not to master one more tool, but rather taking the game as an inspiration to establish frequent intimate chats. Talk it Out with your spouse about what is in your heart, and do it frequently.
